TIFU by genuinely forgetting I had a joint in my pocket and trying to board a plane in Amsterdam and getting caught.

So this literally just happened 30 mins ago.

I would freely and happily admit if I tried this on purpose as a warning to others, but legitimately fucked up here.

Came with a couple of friends for the weekend to Amsterdam for a birthday. It’s a great city, pretty to look at and loads of fun.

I’m sure most people know the Dutch have decriminalised the use of weed and you can visit ‘coffee shops’ and buy and smoke joints.

Had a fun party night last night in town. Went to some coffee shops, got stoned, went to some bars, danced at a club. Had a great night, but only a couple of hours sleep.

In a rush packing this morning, as slept through alarm, I put on last nights jeans on with a joint in plastic tube in pocket (front weird pocket in front of main pocket) left over from last night. Got to airport in reasonable time considering slept through alarm. Rushed towards security when suddenly this hideous sensation of my stomach dropping, like in a falling lift…’did I ditch that joint’?

At this stage my rucksack is going through the scanner and the airport staff are guiding me through a body scanner tube that you stand still in with your hands in the air, whilst something revolves around you.

‘Sir, do you have anything in your pockets’ says the customs lady as she steers me towards the body scanner.

Holy. Fucking. Shit. What to do? I’m still not 100% at this point if there was a joint in my pocket or not. Do I come clean? No way-too late for that. Got to try and style this out, as pocket might actually be empty.

Go to tube, put hands up, get scanned no problem. But, Schiphol Airport as policy, possibly because of weed, frisk everyone as soon as out of scan tube. I’m asked to put my hands in air again as airport guy starts to frisk intensely all over. I’m sweating bullets and my scrambled mind is trying to remember the hazy details of last nights outing-did I smoke that joint??? Airport guys hands pats pocket. I feel object being pressed into hip. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

‘Sir, empty your pocket please’? Says airport guy. My partner in the mean time has passed security and is watching on. In slow motion I see the penny drop on his face. I dig into that weird front mini pocket, and pull out a small joint in a plastic tube (as sold in coffee shops) of my pocket. Audible gasps come out of other passengers in queue behind me. I feel my face turning almighty red and feel the room getting a bit spinny.

I’m dying inside. I say to pat down guy, ‘oh god. I’m really sorry, I forgot that was in th…’
‘HAHA, SURE, SURE – THATS WHAT THEY ALL SAY’! Laughs airport pat down guy loudly.

I’m placed to one side. Customs security is called over (was left a nerve shredding 30 mins before he turned up). Just gonna take this moment and opportunity to say-the Dutch are a fucking fabulous bunch of people.

Customs man comes over and takes one look at me quivering/near to tears and says, ‘Don’t worry Sir! Don’t look so scared! You are 20th today and you won’t be last! I’m sorry you have a government at home that is so restrictive, but unfortunately I can’t let you leave Amsterdam with this joint as you will get in trouble at home’.

I almost wept with relief. I was made to sign a form to say he’d taken joint off me….and that was it…

I’m in a bar in Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam having a drink to steady my nerves. To all you Dutch-bless your hearts. You’re the best. I’m sorry I was a hot mess and added to the problem of being a dumb fucking tourist.

TLDR I was a hot mess and genuinely forgot I had a joint in my pocket. Got caught with it. Dutch customs were amazing about it.

Edit-spelling (my hands are still shaking)

Edit 2, Thanks for the shiny stuff. First awards (on a story about my drug use). I’m from UK for those asking.. My flights just landed and I made it through UK customs without discovering any other forgotten drugs. I’ve just found the docket the nice customs man handed me when he took the weed. It says under what was taken, ‘joints’ 😂 I will try to upload it when home.



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TIFU by genuinely forgetting I had a joint in my pocket and trying to board a plane in Amsterdam and getting caught.